Author: Jo from Connecticut
For 7 years, married 3, I have been in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. Although riddled with heated arguments it has never been physically abusive. Recent tensions have caused my husband to become increasingly angry and volatile. His favorite subject being my 15 year old son from my first marriage. A week after a wonderful vacation I found myself once again being scolded and berated over a chore that my son hadn’t completed. The argument escalated and I lightly poked him in the chest. In typical fashion he left the house and I went to sleep. 2 hours later the state police were at my door and, in front of my son, I was arrested for disorderly conduct. He was granted a full no contact and my son and I were displaced from the house that i bought.
To complicate matters, my husband and I are business partners and 50/50 owners of both the business and the business property. I was also banned from my job and only source of income. A week later my husband served me with divorce papers. Prior to this he never asked for a separation or even indicated that we were heading in that direction. I was completely blind sided.
After 3 court appearances, including a Fernando A hearing, I was granted a modification allowing me limited access to my business. My husband knew exactly what he was doing and intentionally had me arrested in order to leverage a divorce in his favor. Since this has happened he has done everything possible to try and discredit my emotional stability beginning with lying to the police, his attorney, and as I just discovered today, mutual friends. In the meantime I am going on my 18th night without a home, bouncing from guest room to guest room not knowing how soon or long it will be before the order will be lifted.
Until it happened to me I had no idea that my spouse could exaggerate or even fabricate a frivolous abuse allegation leaving me without recourse. Abuse is a very serious matter but the ease in which a vindictive sociopath can use the system for their own gain while ruining another persons life in the process is criminal!
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